Closer to the End

I am ready to go home. My nerves are at the bitter end. Im not depressed or angry just frustrated about being here. I want my own life back. I want to be able to workout again, travel, read a good book, eat some peanuts at a ball game, take a hot bath, have In n Out Burger, have a coffee with my sister, sit in a house full of my family, have a beer at Dukes, wash my car, bodysurf, free dive, sleep in a bed where I don't feel springs, I want to be anywhere but here. The time in class feels longer and longer everyday. I don't even pay attention any more. I'm just going through the motions. I have no idea what the instructors have been talking about. All I know is that the last three days have been about the environment. In other words, a bunch of hippies have been lecturing me. I say that out of respect, I do care about hippies and the environment. Unfortunately, I'm just too drained to really care. It's funny, the last two days the instructors took all the cadets on a tour of Asilomar. I have lived here, at Asilomar, for 6 months. The last thing I want to do is walk around this place, especially when there are 40 mph winds. I hate to complain, but I'm ready for this academy to come to an end. I know it's only 10 days, but everyday feels like 10 days. During class, I imagine I'm on a tropical beach, sitting next to a gorgeous man and drinking a Mai Tai. When I'm not daydreaming I'm writing Haiku's or drawing nonsense pictures. The lectures are boring and I feel like I am going crazy. I've talked to some of the other cadets and they have similar feelings. We're all ready to be done. I feel bad for the instructors, the vibe in the classroom is pretty low. We all want to care, we're just to tired. 

Apologies for the negativity. 

I just want to go home and go vacation.